"The Spouse Store" & "A Doctor" ....

A brand new store has just ope­ned in New York City that sells Hus­bands. When women go to choo­se a hus­band at the New Hus­band store, they have to fol­low the ins­truc­tions at the entrance:

  • "You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!" The­re are 6 flo­ors and the value of the pro­ducts increa­se as you ascend the flights. You may choo­se any item from a par­ti­cu­lar flo­or, or may choo­se to go up to the next flo­or, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the buil­ding! So, a woman goes to the Hus­band Store to find a husband. 
      On the 1st flo­or the sign on the door reads:
    1. Flo­or 1
      - The­se men have jobs. 
    2. The 2nd flo­or sign reads:

    3. Flo­or 2
      - The­se men Have Jobs and Love Kids. 
    4. The 3rd flo­or sign reads:

    5. Flo­or 3
      - The­se men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extre­me­ly good looking. 
    6. "Wow," she thinks, but feels com­pel­led to keep going.

      She goes to the 4th flo­or and the sign reads:

    7. Flo­or 4
      - The­se men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Loo­king and Help with Housework. 
    8. "Oh, mer­cy me!" she exclaims, "I can hard­ly stand it!"

      Still, she goes to the 5th flo­or and sign reads:

    9. Flo­or 5
      - The­se men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gor­ge­ous, help with Hou­se­work and Have A Strong Roman­tic Streak. 
    10. She is so tempt­ed to stay, but she goes to the 6th flo­or and the sign reads:

    11. Flo­or 6
      - You are visi­tor 31,456,012 to this flo­or. The­re are no men on this flo­or. This flo­or exists sole­ly as pro­of that women are impos­si­ble to plea­se. Thank you for shop­ping at the Hus­band Store . 
  • To avo­id gen­der bias char­ges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street. A sign at the ent­rance reads:
    "You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!" The­re are 6 flo­ors and the value of the pro­ducts increa­se as you ascend the flights. You may choo­se any item from a par­ti­cu­lar flo­or, or may choo­se to go up to the next flo­or, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!
    1. The 1st flo­or has wives that love sex. 
    2. The 2nd flo­or has wives that love sex and have money.
    3. The 3rd through 6th flo­ors have never been visited ... 

* edit *
Bit­te als das neh­men was es ist:
Ein Witz!



....

A Doc­tor was addres­sing a lar­ge audi­ence in Tampa.

"The mate­ri­al we put into our sto­machs is enough to have kil­led most of us sit­ting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks cor­ro­de your sto­mach lining. Chi­ne­se food is loa­ded with MSG. High fat diets can be dis­astrous, and none of us rea­li­zes the long-term harm cau­sed by the germs in our drin­king water. But the­re is one thing that is the most dan­ge­rous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyo­ne here tell me what food it is that cau­ses the most grief and suf­fe­ring for years after eating it?" 

After seve­ral seconds of quiet,
a 75-year-old man in the front row rai­sed his hand,
and soft­ly said,

"Wed­ding Cake."

* edit *
Bit­te als das neh­men was es ist:
Ein Witz!

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