POLITICALLY CORRECT: HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN ....

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT"
   - he has deve­lo­ped a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY." 
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER"
   - he is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN." 
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME"
   - he "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS." 
4. He is not "BALDING"
   - he is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION." 
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER"
   - he pre­fers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS." 
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK"
   - he beco­mes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL." 
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS"
   - he deve­lo­ps a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION." 
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG"
   - he has "SWINE EMPATHY." 
9. It's not his "CRACK" you see han­ging out of his pants
   - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE" 
10. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT"
    - he is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED." 
11. He is not "HORNY"
    - he is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED." 

[via John G.]]