- He does not have a "BEER GUT"
- he has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY." - He is not a "BAD DANCER"
- he is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN." - He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME"
- he "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS." - He is not "BALDING"
- he is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION." - He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER"
- he prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS." - He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK"
- he becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL." - He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS"
- he develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION." - He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG"
- he has "SWINE EMPATHY." - It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants
- It's "REAR CLEAVAGE" - He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT"
- he is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED." - He is not "HORNY"
- he is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
[via John G.]]