New Evi­dence Indi­ca­tes Intel­li­gence Not Con­ta­gious
By Andy Boro­witz
March 26, 2020

Dr. Antho­ny Fau­ci speaks as U.S. Pre­si­dent Donald Trump loo­ks on.
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WASHINGTON (The Boro­witz Report)

New evi­dence unco­ve­r­ed over the past several weeks indi­ca­tes that intel­li­gence is not con­ta­gious, a stu­dy by the Cen­ters for Dise­a­se Con­trol reports.

In a con­trol­led expe­ri­ment docu­men­ted by the stu­dy, a seven­ty-nine-year-old man with intel­li­gence was pla­ced in clo­se pro­xi­mi­ty to a seven­ty-three-year-old man without it for a peri­od of several weeks to see if even a trace of his know­ledge and exper­ti­se could be trans­mit­ted.

After weeks of near-con­stant expo­sure, howe­ver, the seven­ty-three-year-old man appeared “a hund­red per cent asym­pto­ma­tic” of intel­li­gence, the rese­ar­chers found.

In terms of facts, data, and wis­dom, the­re was zero com­mu­ni­ty spread,” the report sta­ted.

The rese­ar­chers, howe­ver, left open the pos­si­bi­li­ty that intel­li­gence might be trans­mis­si­ble to other peop­le, just not to the seven­ty-three-year-old who was the sub­ject of the expe­ri­ment.

The­re is evi­dence to sug­gest that this sub­ject has deve­lo­ped a super-immu­ni­ty to intel­li­gence, making it impos­si­ble for even rudi­men­ta­ry infor­ma­ti­on to per­me­a­te his extra­or­di­na­ri­ly thick cra­ni­um,” the stu­dy indi­ca­ted.