Kategorie: Cartoon & mehr

[engl.: "lap dog"]

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Über­zo­ge­ne Prü­de­rie - hier dar­ge­stellt am Bei­spiel der "züch­ti­gen" Katzen .... 

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Give us a sen­se of humor, Lord.
Give us the grace to see a joke,
to get some humor out of life .... !
 

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heißt eine Serie von Büchern, die die­se Kon­stel­la­ti­on in Bil­der­ge­schich­ten - und mit mehr als nur einem Augen­zwin­kern - kommentiert ....

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"click!" zum Vergrößern ....

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[Quel­le:
Vater und Sohn; Bd 1; Neue Aus­ga­be; 50 Strei­che und Aben­teu­er gezeich­net von E.O. Plau­en; Süd­ver­lag Kon­stanz, ¹⁹⁴⁹⁄₁₉₆₂; ISBN 3-87800-001-4]

Neh­men wir an, das
  wäre ihr Haus ....

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Dann sagt ihr Kre­dit­ge­ber,
es sähe 

so
  aus - ent­spre­chend nied­rig will er finanzieren ....

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Ein poten­ti­el­ler Käu­fer sagt Ihnen, 

das
  sei ihr Haus ....

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Der ein­ge­schal­te­te Gut­ach­ter beschreibt das Haus so: 

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Wenn es aller­dings nach der
fest­set­zen­den Steuerbehörde
geht, ist das 

ihr Haus ....

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A Poli­ce­man was being cross-exami­ned by a defen­se att­or­ney during a fel­o­ny tri­al. The lawy­er was try­ing to under­mi­ne the policeman's credibility....

Q:
"Offi­cer -- did you see my cli­ent fle­e­ing the scene?"
A:
"No Sir. But I sub­se­quent­ly obser­ved a per­son matching the
descrip­ti­on of the offen­der, run­ning seve­ral blocks away."
Q:
"Offi­cer -- who pro­vi­ded this description?"
A:
"The offi­cer who respon­ded to the scene."
Q:
"A fel­low offi­cer pro­vi­ded the descrip­ti­on of this so-cal­led offen­der. Do you trust your fel­low officers?"
A:
"Yes, Sir. With my life."
Q:
"With your life? Let me ask you this then offi­cer. Do you have a
room whe­re you chan­ge your clo­thes in pre­pa­ra­ti­on for your dai­ly duties?"
A:
"Yes Sir, we do.
Q:
"And do you have a locker in the room?"
A:
"Yes Sir, I do."
Q:
"And do you have a lock on your locker?"
A:
"Yes Sir."
Q:
"Now why is it, offi­cer, if you trust your fel­low offi­cers with your
life, you find it neces­sa­ry to lock your locker in a room you share with
the­se same officers?"
A:
"You see, Sir -- we share the buil­ding with the court com­plex, and some­ti­mes lawy­ers have been known to walk through that room."

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=> gemailt von John G. ....

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Alfred E. New­mann geblieben?
Sehen sie selbst ....

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[Zitat]" .. Yes, I couldnt help thin­king how much he loo­ked like Alfred E. New­mann----in the papers the next day too he loo­ked exact­ly like the cover of Mad Maga­zi­ne. He is a spit­ting image of Alfred. It's uncanny. "

Click! Hier klicken! - und dann ihren Vor­na­men eingeben ....

Auf­schrift auf zwei hin­ter­ein­an­der fah­ren­den Schüttgut-LKW:

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Wol­len Sie Schotter?
Wir auch!

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Wir küm­mern uns um ihren Kies!

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A mini­ster deci­ded that a visu­al demon­stra­ti­on would add empha­sis to his Sun­day sermon.

Four worms were pla­ced into four sepa­ra­te jars.

• The first worm was put into a con­tai­ner of alcohol.
• The second worm was put into a con­tai­ner of ciga­ret­te smoke.
• The third worm was put into a con­tai­ner of cho­co­la­te syrup.
• The fourth worm was put into a con­tai­ner of good clean soil.

At the con­clu­si­on of the ser­mon, the Mini­ster repor­ted the fol­lo­wing results:

• The first worm in alcohol 

- Dead.

• The second worm in ciga­ret­te smoke 

- Dead.

• Third worm in cho­co­la­te syrup 

- Dead.

• Fourth worm in good clean soil 

- Ali­ve.

So the Mini­ster asked the congregation
"What can you learn from this demonstration?"

A litt­le old woman in the back quick­ly rai­sed her hand and said,
"As long as you drink, smo­ke and eat cho­co­la­te, you won't have worms!"

Don't we just love litt­le old ladies?

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[sent by John G.]

Pre­si­dent Bush, First Lady Lau­ra and Dick Che­ney were fly­ing on
Air Force One. Geor­ge loo­ked at Lau­ra, chuck­led and said,
"You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the win­dow right now and make some­bo­dy very happy." 
Lau­ra shrug­ged her should­ers and replied,
"I could throw ten $100 bills out of the win­dow and make ten peo­p­le very happy." 
Che­ney added,
"That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the win­dow and make a hundred peo­p­le very happy."

Hea­ring their exch­an­ge, the pilot rol­led his eyes and said to his co-pilot,
"Such big-shots back the­re. Hell, I could throw all of them out of the win­dow and make 56 mil­li­on peo­p­le very happy."

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[Thanks, John ....]