The Blonde Year in Review

• Janu­ary
  - Took her new scarf back to the store becau­se it was too tight.
• Febru­ary
  - Orde­red new dra­pes for her com­pu­ter becau­se it had windows.
• March
  - Got exci­ted when she finis­hed a jigsaw puz­zle in 6 months becau­se the box said "2−4 years."
• April
  - Was trap­ped on an escala­tor for hours when the power went out.
• May
  - Couldn't make Kool-Aid becau­se 8 cups of water wouldn't fit into the litt­le packet.
• June
  - Couldn't learn to water ski becau­se she couldn't find a lake with a slope.
• July
  - After losing in a breast stro­ke swim­ming com­pe­ti­ti­on, com­plai­ned to the jud­ges that the other swim­mers were using their arms.
• August
  - Told her blon­de fri­end to hur­ry when try­ing to get into their locked car using a coat han­ger becau­se it was start­ing to rain and the top was down.
• Sep­tem­ber
  - When asked what the capi­tal of Cali­for­nia was: ans­we­red "C".
• Octo­ber
  - Hates M & M's becau­se they are so hard to peel.
• Novem­ber
  - Baked a tur­key for 4 days becau­se the ins­truc­tions said 1 hour per pound and she weig­hed 120.
• Decem­ber
  - Couldn't call 911 becau­se the­re was no "11" on any pho­ne button.

[via John G.]