Kategorie: Cartoon & mehr

Leben: als shirt .... [von hier]

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[cre­dits: John G.]
* => unequi­vo­cal

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aber doch ganz erhei­tern­de Car­toons. (In Fran­zö­sisch, aber auch ohne ver­tief­te Sprach­kennt­nis­se zu verstehen) ....

A man enters a bar and orders a drink.
The bar has a robot bartender.
The robot ser­ves him a per­fect­ly pre­pared cock­tail, and then asks him,
"What's your IQ?"
The man replies
"150"
and the robot pro­ce­eds to make con­ver­sa­ti­on about glo­bal warm­ing fac­tors, quan­tum phy­sics and spi­ri­tua­li­ty, bio­mi­mi­cry, envi­ron­men­tal inter­con­nec­ted­ness, string theo­ry, nano-tech­no­lo­gy, and sexu­al proclivities.

The cus­to­mer is very impres­sed and thinks,
"This is real­ly cool."
He deci­des to test the robot.
He walks out of the bar, turns around, and comes back in for ano­ther drink.
Again, the robot ser­ves him the per­fectl­ty pre­pared drink and asks him,
"What's your IQ?"
The man responds,
"about a 100."
Imme­dia­te­ly the robot starts tal­king, but this time, about foot­ball, NASCAR, base­ball, super­mo­dels, favo­ri­te fast foods, guns, and women's breasts.

Real­ly impres­sed, the man lea­ves the bar and deci­des to give the robot one more test. He heads out and returns, the robot ser­ves him and asks,
"What's your IQ?"
The man replies,
"Er, 50, I think."
And the robot says... real slowly,
"So.............. ya gon­na vote for Bush again?"

* edit *
Klei­ne Variante:
"So ............. ya gon­na read him again?"

[via: John G.]

Two boys were wal­king home from Sun­day school after hea­ring a strong prea­ching on the devil.
One said to the other,
"What do you think about all this Satan stuff?"
The other boy replied,
"Well, you know how San­ta Claus tur­ned out.
It's pro­ba­b­ly just your Dad.

[cre­dits: John G.]

The­re will be no Nati­vi­ty Sce­ne in Washing­ton, DC this year !
This isn't for any reli­gious reason;
they sim­ply have not been able to find

• three wise men and 
• a virgin 

in the Nation's Capitol.

The­re was no pro­blem, however,
fin­ding enough asses to fill the stable.

Gott schuf das Licht.
Doch es blieb finster
- in Pader­born und Mün­ster ....

This had most of the sta­te of Michi­gan laug­hing for 2 days and a very embar­ras­sed fema­le news anchor who will, in the future, likely think befo­re she speaks.
What hap­pens when you pre­dict snow but don't get any?
We had a fema­le news anchor that, the day after it was sup­po­sed to have sno­wed and didn't, tur­ned to the wea­ther­man and asked:

"So Bob,
where's that 8 inches you pro­mi­sed me last night?"

Not only did HE have to lea­ve the set, but half the crew did too they were laug­hing so hard!

Vor eini­ger Zeit
hat Herr querformat
ein "Gleich­nis" ver­faßt.
Ein Pen­dant fand ich
heu­te in unserem
loka­len "Anzei­gen­blatt" ....

fin­det bei Mickey Mou­se statt:
Wahl­kampf in Entenhausen

[Abbil­dung: © Dis­ney / via Eha­pa; gese­hen bei Herrn seh­pferd]