-- What do you expect from such simp­le crea­tures? Your last name stays put. The gara­ge is all yours. Wed­ding plans take care of them­sel­ves. Cho­co­la­te is just ano­ther snack. You can be Pre­si­dent. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mecha­nics tell you the truth. The world is your uri­nal. You never have to dri­ve to ano­ther gas sta­ti­on rest­room becau­se this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrink­les add cha­rac­ter. Her Wed­ding dress - $5000. Your Tux ren­tal - $100. Peo­p­le never sta­re at your chest when you're tal­king to them. The occa­sio­nal well-ren­de­red belch is prac­ti­cal­ly expec­ted. New shoes don't cut, bli­ster, or mang­le your feet. One mood all the time.
Pho­ne con­ver­sa­ti­ons are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vaca­ti­on requi­res only one suit­ca­se. You can open all your own jars. You get extra cre­dit for the sligh­test act of thoughtful­ness. If someone for­gets to invi­te you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your under­wear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap pro­blems in public. You are unable to see wrink­les in your clo­thes. Ever­ything on your face stays its ori­gi­nal color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, may­be deca­des. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your bel­ly usual­ly hides your big hips. One wal­let and one color for all sea­sons. You can wear shorts no mat­ter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket kni­fe. You have free­dom of choice con­cer­ning gro­wing a musta­che. You can do Christ­mas shop­ping for 25 rela­ti­ves on Decem­ber 24 in 25 minutes.

No won­der men are happier.

Talk about this to the women who can hand­le it ....
And to the men who will enjoy rea­ding it ....

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