Brief an die US-Einkommensteuerbehörde (IRS) ....

" .. Dear IRS,
Enc­lo­sed is my 2005 tax return show­ing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.
Plea­se note the atta­ched artic­le from USA Today, whe­r­ein you will see the Pen­ta­gon is paying $171.50 for ham­mers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toi­let seat.
I am enclo­sing four toi­let seats (value $2400) and six ham­mers (value$1029), brin­ging my total remit­ted to $3429.00.
Plea­se app­ly the over­payment of $22.00 to the "Pre­si­den­ti­al Elec­tion Fund," as noted on my return. You can do this inex­pen­si­ve­ly by sen­ding them one 1.5" Phil­lips Head screw (artic­le from USA Today detailing
how HUD pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phil­lips Head Screws).
It has been a plea­su­re to pay my tax bill this year, and I look for­ward to paying it again next year.

Sin­ce­re­ly,

A Satis­fied Taxpayer .. "

[cre­dits: John G.]