Six retired Irishmen ....

were play­ing poker in O'Leary's apart­ment when Pad­dy Mur­phy loses £500 on a sin­gle hand, clut­ches his chest and drops dead at the table.
Show­ing respect for their fal­len brot­her, the other five con­ti­n­ue play­ing stan­ding up.
Micha­el O'Connor looks around and asks, "Oh, me boys, someone got's to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?"
They draw straws. Peter Gal­lag­her picks the short one. They tell him to be dis­creet and gent­le, don't make a bad situa­ti­on any worse.
"Dis­creet? I'm the most disc!reet Irish­men you'll ever meet. Dis­creti­on is my midd­le name. Lea­ve it to me."
Peter goes over to Murphy's hou­se and knocks on the door.
Mrs. Mur­phy ans­wers and asks what he wants.
Peter decla­res: "Your hus­band just lost £500 and is afraid to come home."
"Tell him to drop dead!" says the wife.
"I'll go tell him." says Peter.

[via John G.]